Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER :
Anger is essential to our survival since it is required to stand up for ourselves if ill treated or to defend ourselves when attacked.
Anger becomes unhealthy when it is suppressed for too long which can lead to aggression.
We must avoid expressing anger by throwing tantrums or screaming but instead calmly expressing it in an appropriate manner at an appropriate time.
Else it can cause much harm to our health and our relationship with others.
My experience has taught me how to express anger in a healthy manner :
It is perfectly justifiable to be assertive when expressing your anger but not aggressive.
Make / state your point and repeat it but do not make unnecessarily hurtful and extreme remarks that you will realise you don't mean as soon as you calm down.
Never let an argument get out of hand.
Stick to the problem at hand and keep your anger in the present.
It is never a good idea to bring up past hurt as this only adds to your anger and before you know it you are fighting about something that happened years ago and has nothing to do with the current problem.
Never express your anger in the heat of the moment.
When you find yourself angriest is when you are likely to say the most hurtful things.
Wait a few minutes, breathe deeply, and yes counting down from 10 or a 100 depending on your level of anger really does help !
Promise yourself you will utter a word only after this time out.
As a long term solution learn about what tends to trigger your anger.
Once you know this you will see a potentially angry bout approaching from a mile away and will be able to avert it by either explaining to the other person that you will not like what they are about to do or by leaving the situation altogether by just leaving the room.
When angry instead of blindly reacting ask yourself rational questions such as " What needs to change in this situation to make me less angry ? " or " Is there another way in which I could deal with this situation ? "
Once you start figuring out answers to such healthy questions you will find yourself going from reactive mode to solutions oriented mode or response.
NIP THAT ANGER :
In life we are bound to meet annoying people or land up in frustrating situations.
In such cases keeping a tab on our emotions helps us to handle life more responsibly.
Anger can be manifested in three ways :
By expressing it, suppressing it and by calming down.
But when none of these manifestations work maybe it’s a good idea for you to chalk out an anger management regimen.
ACCEPTANCE IS IMPORTANT :
Remember we cannot control every event, place, situation or person in the world.
Things are bound to go wrong but life still moves on.
We must realise that we cannot always express our anger and not always have things go our way.
TIRE OUT :
When you feel the mercury rising it’s best to indulge in something that is physically exerting.
Go for a jog, a swim, gym work out or play a sport.
This way you vent your anger in a positive manner.
DEEP BREATHING :
Deep breathing especially through yoga has amazing effects on anger.
That's why it is highly recommended that when angry count till at least 10.
Breathing slowly while counting 10 helps in clearing negative thoughts that cloud our mind which in turn helps us think clearly.
LAUGH IT OFF :
Use humor to handle situations / people who are beyond our control.
There is a thin / fine line between humor and sarcasm.
There is no need to hurt someone else just because we're angry.
You'll be surprised to see how much work can get done with a simple smile on your face instead of a bout of nasty anger.
FORGIVE AND FORGET :
Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can gift our self especially during trying times.
Easier said than done forgiveness releases pent up anger and frustration which in turn can help you in dealing with difficult situations.
Friendship / Love does not consist in admiring or gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
Love and regards. Kisses
